Nicotine's a bitch

This day sucks. I was about to post just that sentence, because of me being in a bad mood, but I think you guys deserve some back story. This post won't really be as deep and soul touching as most of my other posts. But to hell with that. It's my human right to complain, and if I want to tell the world about my self-destructive behavior, then so be it.

The whole thing really started two days ago. I was hung over like a beast after a late night of drinking so most of the day was wasted on lying on a friend's couch. After several failed attempts to stop myself from throwing up I decided that it was time to go home. A quick glance in the mirror, just to make sure that my looks were still intact, and away I went to a 30 minute walk of shame. At 4 in the afternoon. On a Friday.

The walk home was pretty uneventful, as it always is, but that's really the norm for these kinds of things. No, the things that lead to this day being hell were my thought when I got home. It went something like this:

"Cool, I haven't had a cigarette for almost half a day and I don't feel like smoking. I should try to see how it feels to go several days just like that!"

This must have been the most stupid idea I've had all year. And I've done some stupid stuff. The worst thing is that I didn't even want to quit. I like smoking. I've liked it ever since I started smoking about three years ago. I've never had any of those pesky side effects, like smoke cough or reduced whatever. And studies show that you look at least 10% cooler holding a cigarette. Who am I to argue against science? No, I wanted to see how it felt to go without nicotine without any real reason. That's like shooting yourself in the foot with a gun just to see if it hurts. Stupid.

Let’s fast forward a day. It's five pm and I'm at work. I work at a very service minded job at summer. That is, Ii guard a lawn and sometimes I tend to some customers. And I usually don't have a hard time doing it. Sure, some customers can be quite obnoxious, but mostly it doesn't faze me at all. I fake a smile and exchange their money for goods. But, as I realized today, even the easiest task can make you want to punch someone in the face if you're on day two of nicotine withdrawal. It's hell. I even considered trading an ice cream for a cigarette before I, thankfully, realized how bad that'd would've looked. Especially when the kid was like 12. I really can't understand how people can "quit" several times per year. That must be like self-inflicted torture. Like emos cutting themselves.

When I finally get of work, having managed not to kill a single customer, I come home and find that my adapter has fried, rendering my laptop useless. And when I went to call to see if someone had a replacement I realized that I've forgotten my phone somewhere. So I'm writing this on my iPod, hoping it would calm me down. Totally didn't. So I'm going to go out, find the nearest open place, and buy me a loaf of cigarettes.

If you read about some guy in Sweden beating up some other guy over a pack of smokes tomorrow then you probably know who it was.

P.S: Did I mention that it just started raining?